The title sounds like this should really be two separate posts but they are really connected.
One aspiration I have decided on is to stop reading gossip and this includes facebook, my old twitter (which was like an amped up version of facebook), various news sites that contained the ubquitious "entertainment" sections and even my old blog daily reads. I had a milestone birthday this year (40) and I genuinely want to change, to become closer to myself. To get closer to myself, I want to surround myself with like minded people, hence the desire to build my tribe.
Let me explain.
My father and I recently connected again. It was really, really hard for me. We both cried and I received the explanations and heard the words that I needed to hear. This coversation healed a lot of pain I had been carrying around for years. I believe he healed too. Soon after this converstaion, I traveled with my husband and on the way home we stopped for gas and I used the restroom. As I was washing my hands, I glanced in the mirror and not only saw myself, I recognized myself. It was like "oh, there you are". A woman now but I could still see traces of that happy, confident little girl that used to giggle in the plastic swimming pool during the summer. The girl who had a father that loved her.
Once I had that first "recognition" of myself, I did not want to stop! It was like a gift and I knew I needed more, to connect more. The second think that happended was that I stumbled across a site that Jonathan Fields recommended called http://whitehottruth.com which just stunned me. Danielle LaPorte is the author and a huge proponent of self realization. She's bold and irreverant and I read as much of her content as I could. Now, I have been trolling personal development for years. For YEARS. I have read countless books and online sites. And I never really connected. In fact, I became so discouraged, convinced that most were just charlatans looking to make a quick buck off of someones misery that if someone recommended someone as someone to checkout, I made it my job to dig up as much negative as I could. It was not difficult to type in the author's name and then insert the word "scam" and find forums and individuals who would share their negative experiences.
The fact is that, anyone can find something negative about anyone. The point is, what do you choose to believe? Where are you willing to take a leap of faith? I've not only been disconnected with myself, but also with others. I have purposely cut myself off from that. I am realizing that it's the connections that count. Who we align ourselves with matters. I am slowly piecing together my tribe. I select carefully. I follow my heart, my instincts.
My intention is to help others find their connections. Most of us talk about it. We kind of touch the edges of it but then gravitate back to where it's comfortable.
For 40 days, I decided that I would focus on feeding myself information that gets me closer to my connections. In the process, I will build my tribe which will help me move forward and protect me through the wilds of the naysayers, the pessimists.
Much love,
Christian
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