One of the goals I have is to be able have a more flexible work lifestyle, with my own business. This is a goal because I want to spend more time with my family during the day.
Children are so persistent. My son included. Daily, he will ask me if next year, when he is in third grade if he could please PLEASE take the "yellow" bus home instead of the after-care bus that picks him up from school in the afternoons. My current work schedule does not allow for that unfortunately because: I work for someone else.
Many of us are in this same situation. But my sons daily reminder is a much needed push for me to GET IT IN GEAR and really start working on my business ideas. This blog is beginning to evolve. I started it with my best intentions, to serve as a possible forum for people to help each other out in their quest in entrepreneurship or any other major lifestyle change. All for free. I did not add "ads" or links to affiliates. Just plain help because frankly, maybe even selfishly I need it most of all.
I have received very light traffic and zero comments, which is ok. The light traffic gives me the boost I need to at least know that some are taking the time to at least glance at what I have to say.
Truth is I am stuck. Stuck on how to proceed and when I say "stuck" I really mean afraid. My son is my touchstone. His daily reminders tell me to keep going, to not give up. What I want IS possible and I am being cheered on with my son's unjaded optimism. He won't take no for an answer. Smart kid. I am hoping it rubs off :-).
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Thursday, May 19, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Mentors That Fail You... and Why That's OK
Full disclosure. I am by nature an introvert so it is not in my style to actively seek out mentors. Having worked for financial services firms for the majority of my adult life, I have lucked into some pretty positive relationships in the form of mentors.
I defined these individuals as mentors because they were people I admired, who had been successful in their careers and their appreciation for my work was very seductive. I felt special. Totally flattering to have your heroes compliment you and want to help you be more successful. Until they fail you.
One of my recent former mentors embodied what I considered to be truly successful. She was smart and funny, down-to-earth and spoke her mind. She was firm without ever having to resort to what I consider to be the ultimate weakness for a woman- being the "bitch". She helped me get promoted with promises of continued support. She would always say that we would get together to "have a drink" the next time she was in town. Months would go buy and I would not hear from her. Then I learned that she had been in my town for weeks if not months working on a project. She never tried to contact me. Huh? I didn't get it. Did I do something? Did I not do something? What happened to the hero that literally said she loved me? A small voice in the back of my mind whispered doubts about her sincerity. But still, I continued to seek out her advice as she said she would provide until the response times got longer and longer. This mentor's career grew at an accelerated pace and I sent her effusive notes of congratulation with each milestone because I truly meant it.
Then a golden opportunity for us to connect came. She would be in my town, we would be in the same meeting and she said she could not wait to see me. Granted it was a very large meeting with lots of attendees but I had seen her at a distance earlier in the day and noted that she had on a bright yellow jacket. Surely I would find her in the crowd. I made the usual rounds to the groups of three or four people standing around and chatting. I scanned the crowd the entire time. Friends asked me if I knew she was here and I said yes of course. After about 45 minutes, I realized in the din of small talk that she was not looking for me, that she was not eagerly seeking me out as I was her. It was then that I let her go as a mentor, as a friend and completely without bitterness. She helped me in so many ways and what I failed to realize was that I was able to be successful without her. My career continued to grow- even without her support.
Some mentors can be so for life. Others are stepping stones along the path that you define for yourself. Never let one keep you from your journey. All you have to do is look back and see how far you have come already. The fact that there is not someone there to prop you up is a good because it makes you realize that you have the strength to get to where you need to be all on your own.
I defined these individuals as mentors because they were people I admired, who had been successful in their careers and their appreciation for my work was very seductive. I felt special. Totally flattering to have your heroes compliment you and want to help you be more successful. Until they fail you.
One of my recent former mentors embodied what I considered to be truly successful. She was smart and funny, down-to-earth and spoke her mind. She was firm without ever having to resort to what I consider to be the ultimate weakness for a woman- being the "bitch". She helped me get promoted with promises of continued support. She would always say that we would get together to "have a drink" the next time she was in town. Months would go buy and I would not hear from her. Then I learned that she had been in my town for weeks if not months working on a project. She never tried to contact me. Huh? I didn't get it. Did I do something? Did I not do something? What happened to the hero that literally said she loved me? A small voice in the back of my mind whispered doubts about her sincerity. But still, I continued to seek out her advice as she said she would provide until the response times got longer and longer. This mentor's career grew at an accelerated pace and I sent her effusive notes of congratulation with each milestone because I truly meant it.
Then a golden opportunity for us to connect came. She would be in my town, we would be in the same meeting and she said she could not wait to see me. Granted it was a very large meeting with lots of attendees but I had seen her at a distance earlier in the day and noted that she had on a bright yellow jacket. Surely I would find her in the crowd. I made the usual rounds to the groups of three or four people standing around and chatting. I scanned the crowd the entire time. Friends asked me if I knew she was here and I said yes of course. After about 45 minutes, I realized in the din of small talk that she was not looking for me, that she was not eagerly seeking me out as I was her. It was then that I let her go as a mentor, as a friend and completely without bitterness. She helped me in so many ways and what I failed to realize was that I was able to be successful without her. My career continued to grow- even without her support.
Some mentors can be so for life. Others are stepping stones along the path that you define for yourself. Never let one keep you from your journey. All you have to do is look back and see how far you have come already. The fact that there is not someone there to prop you up is a good because it makes you realize that you have the strength to get to where you need to be all on your own.
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